Thursday, May 1, 2008

Welcome to the Kingdom of Hawaii

Yesterday, unbeknownst to my unaware self, I actually "left" the United States and resided briefly in the "Kingdom of Hawaii". Apparently this is a common thing here in the fiftieth state. For a few hours yesterday, citizens of the "Kingdom of Hawaii" stormed the palace gates locked themselves in and wouldn't admit anyone of non-Hawaiian blood. They declared themselves the "legitimate government of the Hawaiian Islands". Being a law-abiding citizen, I tried to apply for a visa, but they disbanded peacefully at 4:00pm but vowed to return today at 8:00am. Well, how d'you like that, a government that takes nights and weekends off.

Revolutions are as timeless as climate change, cockroaches, and whining. When a group of people gets sick of whoever's in charge, they grab their torches and pitchforks and run them off and put themselves in charge until the next group of people gets sick of them. The United States implemented term limits for its leaders, who are chosen by those who are led, to reduce farm-tool related injuries. Most revolutions involve overthrowing a monarchy to establish a democracy. Apparently here in Hawaii, they're trying to do the opposite.

My favorite part of this all, the royal rebels put "No Trespassing" signs on all the gates that were bought from The Home Depot! At least they're open to foreign trade. So if you have a vacation to the islands planned, bring your passport, just in case. Of course, if it happens to be the Kingdom of Hawaii when you get here and they won't let you in because of your race, just wait a few hours. The Monarchy will probably take a break to get dinner at Costco.


Ambie said...

What the? ....

This happens in the Philippines every couple of years. The government starts hoarding all the money until someone gathers an army and gains public support by promising to help the poor, so they overthrow the government, settle into power, get greedy and the cycle continues.

SUP3RH3R0 said...


Sounds like something that would happen here if there was somewhere they could do that. Unfortunately, California doesn't have a place that you can take over and say claim as taking over the kingdom of California.ll

ray said...

Yeah, the funny thing is, Iolani Palace wasn't the former seat of government in the islands. it was merely the royal residence, but who's quibbling about details here.

Makes me wonder what would happen if some neo-nazis stormed Berlin, claimed that the Third Reich was "unfairly" ousted, declared themselves the rightful governing body of Germany, and that only those of caucasian blood were allowed in - how would the world respond, or more importantly, how long would these people retain their heads. My guess, not well, and not long.