Saturday, May 10, 2008

Sorry Ma !

Tomorrow is mothers day and I want to take this chance to publicly apologize for all of the rotten things I did to my mom growing up. Although this may diminish in your minds the idea that I am nearly perfect, it simply must be done.

Mom, I'm sorry for all the times I cut my hair, and Jessica's... at the scalp. I'm sorry we ( I am not taking all of the blame for this) used all of your perfume and cleaning products and medicine and ice cream to make potions. I'm sorry for the time we tried to give the cat a bath and it didn't work out and you found her a week later with matted soap on her and you had to put her to sleep.. and that we cried and thought you were a mean mom.

I'm sorry that we played catch with the bunny rabbit that belonged to the school library and that it was dead by the next morning and that we just thought it was cold and so we put it by the heater until it started to stink. I'm sorry that I broke juice glasses on purpose because I liked the shattering noise they made.. on the garage floor .. and wall... and under your tires. I am sorry for giving Jessica wedgies and pulling Jillee's pants down and running and also for putting Jillee in the closet and locking it .. so many times. I'm sorry we climbed the tree and pried open your window to search for candy. I am also sorry for throwing that big party when you went to Mexico but at least my friends and I left it cleaner than it was.
Love, Ambie
there is no


ray said...

Good grief, Ambie. You are going to get a night time visit from the PETA strike force! Why did your mom have to put down the cat because it had soap in it's fur? It wasn't lye was it?

Well, this gives me hope that my children can still turn out as wonderful as you, my dear friend. (Of course your brother's been in jail...)

Oh, and you forgot about the time you threw a plate of food at Jillee. Or the time the kids you brought over put marbles down her dryer lint trap. Or your over-eager dog that keeps getting her dog pregnant. I could go on and on.

Ambie said...

Peta is already hunting us, that's why we belong to the witness protection program. My real name is not Ambie.

IN my defense I was only trying to feed Jillee .. er.. faster.

Ambie said...

Oh and the poor cat, bless her little soul, had developed pneumonia.

The Slackers said...

ok, you actually have my husband John beat at being bad kids. I thought he was bad. You really need to give your mom a big hug for not dumping you off at some church with a note pinned to you! JK I think moms do forgive alot and are just glad we grow up with no serious psychological problems.:) Remember grandkids are their payback! :)

Unknown said...

HAhaHAhaHAhaHAhaHAhaHAhaHA i love it!

ray said...

I knew it! Who in their right mind would name their daughter Ambie anyway. I think the give away was when you named all your dogs after meat sauces. Your husband is from the Philippines, after all.

natalie said...

Or the time I was holding Ambie and she was having a shopping tantrum and threw her head back and gave me a bloody nose...etc

Ambie said...

I think I may have opened a can of worms here