Apsiring to be Average

Meet a parent - any parent - and they have dreams for their children. It may be dreams of world-class athleticism, Ivy League academics, or Julliard bound dancing or music. Parents spend countless hours and money by the truckloads for lessons, practices, private teachers, equipment, and camps to help their children reach their (not sure if it's the kids' or the parents') dreams. My question is, have you ever met anyone who has reached the pinnacle of performance in the area of your child's dreams? If you have, you must ask yourself - is this really what you want your child to be like? My answer is a resounding and heartfelt - "HELL NO!"

For every gold medal athlete or prima ballerina, there are a thousand parents that have their priorities WAY screwed up. Take for example the gold-medalist in a 2002snow-boarding event that thanked his father for calling in sick to work so he could take him to the slopes to practice. In the same Olympics there was a figure skater whose siblings refused to attend any of her events. Apparently they were sick of all the sacrifices the whole family had to make so she could compete. Then there are the brothers in Bethesda, MD, the older of which took 17 AP tests getting 5's on 16 of them, but his little brother was removed from the house by Child Protective Services because of the pressure put on them by their mother.

Reaching the top levels of performance in any field requires a natural ability, hard-work and dedication, an extreme focus to the exculsion of all else, and an overwhleming amount of self-centeredness. Of these, the only attributes I want my children to have is hard work and dedication, but not focused solely on themselves. I want them to work hard to help others and be dedicated to the well-being of the entire family and the community. When you think about which of your children's friends you enjoy most, is it the one with the extreme talent in one area, or is it the one who is helpful, polite, and kind to everyone?

I once overheard my mother reply, when asked how her seven children all turned out so well, that it was because they were all so average. I was indignant that she would think of our academic scholarships and college level athletics and dance to be "average". But as I see parents today run themselves into the ground as they mold and sculpt their future superstar children who, more often then not, end up self-important and spoiled, or burnt-out and resentful, I hope more and more, like my mother, that my children end up being happy, balanced, self-aware, helpful, thoughtful, and dare I say, average.