Thursday, May 29, 2008

Summer Boredom

Aren't you happy that school is out? Now that it's summer vacation I just want to make a few things clear. Whether you like it or not we are not spending our summer vacation sitting around watching t.v., playing the wii and wasting precious sunshine. there will be no fighting or attitude given. We have approximately 77 days of (semi) warm and sunshine. Every night you should be collapsing into bed after a day spent of outdoor exercise, running through the sprinkler, and extreme gardening. Your going to be productive if it kills me.

Your summer reading list will grow and grow as you lay on your blanket in the yard and soak up every second of sunlight. You will expand your mind by reading all the classics and the complete American history literary canon. If you are unsure what to read ask me and I will recommend something for you. You had better take this seriously, I don't want to look back on this summer and shake my head at all the wasted time. No laughing or giggling unless the situation calls for it i.e. you are watching Shakespeare at the park. You will look back and remember this summer as one of the most productive periods in your life; the summer you got a six pack (abs not beer) or the summer you developed a love for classic literature, or the summer you climbed the most mountains, or harvested the most fruits and vegetables and canned them.

I would suggest you make yourself a schedule in 30 minute increments and stick to it as if your life depended on it. The only time you should be sitting at the computer is when you are entering data pertaining to your summer productivity which afterwards at the conclusion of the summer you will be presenting to me in the form of a complex pie graph. The only time you should be watching the television is on days when it is snowing or hailing or there is a tornado or tsunami warning.. wait scratch that last one we live far enough from the coast .. get outside now.

Your get to see your friends all year at school, your friends this summer will be your books, each other, and me. Your not going to run off and play like a bunch of stray dogs. There will be order here. I'm not going to let this summer get shot to hell with a bunch of nonsense. Now get busy.


ray said...

Funny, funny. I would suggest getting a whip or an electric cattle prod. Maybe tell your teens the only time they can have their ipods is on the track.

Cheryl said...

Sounds like you have it all covered, my friend! I do think that you might consider allowing them supervised visits by friends so that they can have lively conversations about all the books that they will be reading.

Ambie said...

hey theres an idea