Monday, June 9, 2008

Offended ? I'm sorry .. or maybe I'm not.... I'm not quite sure

Our family was shocked and surprised to discover that my grandmother was asked to teach a class at church and even worse a class on government. At first we thought that maybe our bishop was trying to play some kind of practical joke on our family as everyone knows that my grandmother is extremely opinionated when it comes to politics. You can find her at almost any time of the day listening to talk radio, watering her plants, over feeding her cat, and all the while muttering about some scumbag screwing up our country.

A little history ... my grandmothers father was a politician who unsuccessfully ran for mayor back in Alaska's early statehood. He took it so hard that he spent the remainder of his days on earth muttering about all the jerks screwing up our country...and hunting. Grandma's mother was the president of the (fill in the blank if you wish) women's party of Alaska. She enjoyed gardening, going to the symphony, and discussing subjects like which idiots were screwing up our country.

In grandma's world there is no such thing as political correctness or mercy for the other side. She is quoted as once saying that John Denver deserved his plane crash for getting involved in Alaska' politics.

So there we were watching, waiting, sweating. Grandma began by discussing with the class the difference between types of government i.e., monarchy vs. democracy. We just knew at any moment she would start spouting off about those damn ( fill in the blank if you wish). Surprisingly enough she made it through the hour by the skin of her teeth. We could tell at times she was visibly trying to restrain herself and she almost lost it when a woman who recently immigrated from Chile professed her love and loyalty to her former country. (Grandma can't imagine why or how anyone could feel loyalty to any other lesser nation).

So obviously I grew up listening to grandma spout off about all kinds of politically related things. She once woke me up at the crack of dawn when I was about 12, to teach me to iron and explain the difference between a democrat and a republican and why the world would be better off if those (fill it in) would all fall into the ocean.

So obviously I feel some measure of sympathy towards anyone exposed to demanding old people who want to talk politics and somewhat torn between avoiding the subject like the black plague and being supportive of my country. Any thoughts?


ray said...

Old people and politics is as deadly a combination as drinking and driving or gun wielding and watching "The View". My dad is the quietest, most mild little asian man I know. Think Mr. Miyagi with a 'fro. But once, my brother made a mildly critical comment about Pres. W and my dad started hopping and sputtering while he gestured wildly at my poor, shocked brother who he was comparing to Saddam Hussein. It was nuts. I started reviewing the CPR basics in my head because I was sure my dad was going to have critical heart failure right then and there.

Good ol' Grandma Sue. Love her. Even though she thinks I'm as bad a traitor as Judas Iscariot or Brutus for leaving Alaska. I think of her every time I drive past the house they used in the show Magnum P.I.

oh, and since when do they teach government at church???

Ambie said...

Ha! Did I tell you that a few years back, all grandma Sue wanted for Christmas was a handful of Tom Selleck's chest hair in her stocking ?

Government taught at church .. hmm comparing government now to scriptural times and the freedom of choice and choosing good leaders.

I bet that was Tim wasn't it. Poor Tim

ray said...

Ick, yes, you told me about the chest hair thing, that's why I think of her.

Yes, poor tim. i think that was the last time he ever brought up politics with my dad. My dad and his brother, the staunch liberal one, had to reach a "nuclear arms deal" on politics because it was escalating to levels of knife play and cane whackings.

so, about government and church...did the discussion go so far as to discuss the differences, pros and cons and such of capitalism vs. socialism/communism/law of consecration? That would get the canes flying, I bet.

Cheryl said...

Way to go, Sue!! I can just see her!! Pretty risky idea asking her to teach a lesson on the government at church!

Tom Selleck's chest hair in her christmas stocking?? That's awesome!! I could go for some!!

Reminds me of me trying to inspire my bells class. They were playing a song that has a section that sounded to me like the Russian national anthem and I told them to think of Sean Connery standing on the submarine in "Hunt for Red October" with the russian soldiers singing. They thought I was pretty goofy to be drooling over handsome Sean!! I could go for a handfull of HIS chest hair!!

Tim said...

Yup, no more talking politics with dad. The irony is, he's the one person in our family that can't vote.

Tim said...

"...he spend the rest of his days on earth muttering about all the jerks screwing up our country...and hunting." LOL!! Great writing!