Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Cruelest Cut

Gentlemen, you may want to cross your legs...really.

So anyone who has been privileged to be expecting a baby boy (sorry, Ambie, not you)has faced the decision of whether or not to circumcise your future man. If you've ever attended a child birth class during this discussion, this is the only time it may come to blows. Some say they wanted their sons to be "like father, like son", others say it is an outdated and totally unnecessary, cosmetic, and cruel practice based on meaningless, religious tradition.

I've had to face this decision twice and it's basically come down to this - better now than later. There are certain conditions that arise in a man's life that make circumcision necessary. Much better to do it when they haven't yet developed a paranoid devotion to their nether regions, so day two might be too late.

When we had our second son join the Jewish ranks, I made my husband follow along and watch. I'm not sure why. To make sure the doctor didn't cut too much? With a morbid sense of "you did this to him, watch the consequences"? In any case, I find that I have a lot of clout in making my husband do stuff right after child birth, so he went.

The doctor performing the circumcision insisted on having a hospital nurse present during the procedure. The nurse seemed a little annoyed thinking he should probably be able to handle it solo. So he explained that too often, when fathers attended the circumcisions of their sons, he would all of a sudden have two patients instead of one. So the nurse, with a smile on her face and with smelling salts and defibrillator handy, oversaw the proceedings.

My husband said it honestly wasn't that bad. And he is your typical, paranoid, cup-wearing male.

So while the cut may be cruel, it's best done before the baby can walk or talk or most importantly, remember what happened. Oh, and another thing, you might want to at some point explain this all to your young boy. My sister dated a guy who honestly didn't know if he was circumcised or not. Thankfully, he got it all straightened out and she didn't have to determine this for him.

8 comments:

Ambie said...

Alex would die if he knew I was writing this but as he was of the unfortunate lot whose mother chose "later" ( 12) I would venture to say that Alex is pro "sooner".

Apparently a memorable yet horribly painful ordeal.

ray said...

My sister, Wendy's son was 2 and the doctor didn't tell her about the use of vaseline during the healing process. She is now in the "sooner" camp.

Tim said...

Man, I've heard some lines, but this one takes the cake. "I don't know if I'm circumcised. Can you please check?" Why wouldn't he just ask his parents? Plus, how does one NOT know? If you look down and it appears you've got a pet aardvark, you're NOT circumcised. Hope my sister dumped the guy...

Ambie said...

aaargh !!! Thanks for the unwelcome visual Tim !

Ambie said...

"Hey do you come here often ? Could you look at something for me"?

How did this come up in conversation anyways?

ray said...

Ick, Tim. I have no idea how the conversation came up, but yes, she dumped him....and so did I.

imme said...

I don't remember the exact context that the subject came up in conversation, but I vividly remember when and where the it took place...it was Christmas morning 1995 in Houston, TX. The said boyfriend was spending Christmas with us. As I recall, Tim, you held up a pair of small scissors and said, "How badly do you want to know whether you're circumsized or not". Poor guy...he picked the absolute wrong family to be too honest and open with. We're actually blogging about it 13 years later.

Happy The Man said...

LOL on that last comment!!! I'm in the sooner camp!!!