Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Banana Meets Pigeon

It happened at church. A lady approached me and said, "ayy! Dassa cuute skaht! Where you wen get it?" I blinked once, thought fast and said, "um, the swap meet." She replied, "fo real? Which was da kine?" "....!", I relplied. It made me think of the line from "Finding Nemo" when Marlin says, "You're awfully cute but I have no idea what you're saying." I have been living in Hawaii now for almost a year and despite visiting my grandma and aunties here all my life, I've had quite the culture shock. It's not just about being in a unique culture, it's being in a unique culture when you look like you belong in it. Everyone who has travelled abroad knows what it feels like to look, speak, and act differently from everyone around you, but it is a much stranger experience when you speak and act differently but look the same as everyone around you.

Being 100% Japanese and raised in the US, I've always had a sense that my insides don't really match my outsides - through such experiences as having a girl in middle school ask if I spoke English or having a little old lady start chattering in Korean to me in a grocery store then flipping me off when I told her I was Japanese. But this mismatch becomes the most apparent when I travel to Japan and all around me people assume I know what's going on when I'm totally clueless. I had a cab driver talk endlessly to me even after I explained that I couldn't speak Japanese. Maybe he was testing me by saying things like, "I can't believe you fit your fat butt back there!" Who knows?

So here in Hawaii I get pigeon spoken to me much more often than my haole (white) husband even though he understands it much more readily, working daily with local construction workers. So I guess I have two choices. I can go through life half-confused and constantly explaining that "I'm not from around here", or I can learn to understand "da kine" and "feel da kokua" of those around me.

aloha!

14 comments:

Cheryl said...

We just got a letter from Elder KJ Bloomfield and he said the same thing! He is there in China and he looks like he is from there, so the people talk to him and expect him to understand them.

It's a crazy world!

Heather said...

Oh Rachel, I miss you so much!!! I had Godfathers pizza last night with the kids. I can't bare to go on a Monday without you so I went on a Tuesday and I went through the drive thru. I love you dearly!!! Please also note that I am as white as they come and I don't understand what most people are saying no matter what nationality they are or what skin color they have. I am a walking confused person wandering aimlessly through life.

Heather said...

I cannot believe I spelt your name wrong. I realized it immediatley though. Rachael, Rachael, Rachael, Rachael. Hopefully that will help.

ray said...

No worries, Heather. The way you spelled it for your daughter is the normal Bible way. My mom just had to be a rebel. My baby brother's name is Jayson. I hate having a traditional name spelled a non-traditional way.

Nice to hear from you, Cheryl. KJ on a mission?!! somehow I'll always remember him as that irritating but loveable pest - like the child that follows you around the house saying, "y'know what? y'know what?" over and over all day.

Cheryl said...

I have a hard time imagining him on a mission too! Of course, I cant imagine that I am an old grandma! I'll be smacking my gums together wandering around the mall before too long!! Time passes quickly!

Kristine said...

So right after reading your Asian American post, I went to another blog and read about this interesting study, so I thought I'd share. They gave a math test to a group of Asian American women. Half the group began their test with a few survey questions relating to race, and the other half had survey questions relating to gender. The group that had race questions, effectively reminding them "you're Asian," did significantly better on the math test than the group that was reminded, "you're a woman."

Doesn't really relate to your post, but I think it's fascinating!

ray said...

That is too funny, Kristine. Talk about the power of suggestion! You know, the funny thing about being an Asian in a math class, when I failed a test, the person behind me and to either side of me failed too...

That's an interesting study. I wonder if it could apply to other things like, ask women questions about either their weight or their exercise habits, then see how much they eat. Or how about show men either pictures of scantily clad women or beautiful architecture, then see how they do on a math test.

Kristine said...

One day in high school calculus, they came into my class and asked all the seniors to gather for a group photo to be put in the senior slide show. The result? A bunch of Asian guys and me, wearing the girliest skirt I owned. One of these things doesn't belong.... (But the Asian boys were always copying off me, so pshaw to stereotypes.)

The power of suggestion scares me as a teacher! How many times a day do kids get both subtle and not-so-subtle messages reinforced to them that "you're bad," "you're dumb," "you're trouble," "you're not good enough..." And then we're surprised when they continue living up to it?

ray said...

Kristine, maybe those Asian boys knew you had a great, Asian math tutor. Or maybe they were just trying to gaze into your double-lidded eyes.

Somehow it always comes back to math with you. I knew you were a math geek at heart no matter how much music, literature, education, and Spanish you tried to cram into your life.

Tim said...

The power of suggestion is intriguing. I know I'll be in trouble for suggesting this, but maybe Asian women in America should be reminded that they are American every time they take the wheel of an automobile....

Ambie said...

Tim, Alex would argue that American women are in the same boat.

ray said...

wait a minute, tim. What does that mean? Do Asian women have the urge to drive on the wrong side of the street? or drive while singing kabuki? I didn't realize I could drive, "ethnically".

et tu, Ambie? I recall an incident with you and a motorcyclist....!

Ambie said...

once again ... no comment.

Tim said...

Ray, you can't tell me that you haven't heard the stereotype. Asians can't drive. Asian women are even worse. Teenage Asian girls driving while talking on a cell phone--disaster....