Tuesday, April 29, 2008

No Slanted Eyes? Put Down The Rice!


Consumer fads have come and gone. Remember Cabbage Patch Kids, Tickle Me Elmo, Pokemon Cards? During these times, frenzied mobs of smitten consumers stormed the stores, knocked down old people and small children in their way to get their hands on whatever the object of the fanaticism was. Well, there's a new global consumer fad that's gripping shanty towns and grass hut lean-tos everywhere. The new must have item? Rice. From Haiti to Mozambique, from Peru to Vietnam, people are storming the gates of stores, supply houses, and government buildings to get rice. The US is not immune to this latest craze either. Grocery stores are seeing an increase in the demand for rice and are having trouble keeping it stocked. Trust the general public to get caught up in a fad.

Now, I've eaten rice every day of my whole whole life. I eat lasagna and steak and spaghetti sauce with rice. I depend on it like some people depend on coffee or oxygen or Oprah. If you want to see serious rebellion, come to my house before dinner time on a day I forgot to make rice. So I'd like to say to these band wagon, Johnny-come-latelys, If you HAVE to follow the crowd and get "into" rice, buy the Minute rice or Uncle Ben's, but leave the REAL stuff for the serious rice connoisseurs.

Domo Arigato!

9 comments:

Mama Mia said...

Too funny! I loved eating rice at your house with the delicious potstickers... I mean gyozas. What kind of rice cooker do you have? I need to get Bruce one.

imme said...

Ray, you forgot to mention the time you even put your rice through the wheat grinder and made bread out of it...

I'm sure you're aware of the rice rationing. Both Sam's and Costco are limiting the number of bags of rice you can buy. The spokeswoman from Sam's on the news commented that "we just don't want anyone to start hoarding rice." Little does she know that I'm "hoarding" 300 lbs in my basement as part of my food storage.

ray said...

uh, yeah. well, my "Kansas farmer" husband didn't catch the difference between wheat and brown rice either. He should have to turn in his tractor keys and cowboy hat.

Okay, I haven't been to Costco in about 9 days but they weren't rationing here yet. things could get real ugly real fast if locals were forced to have a party without rice.

Mia, just look for a rice cooker with an animal logo like a tiger or an elephant or any Japanese-looking writing on it. Hint - if it says "sunbeam" don't get it.

Ambie said...

Costco and Sams Club are out here in AK. Alex has been driving all over town.My poor Asian husband. Potatoes and Filipino food do not go well together.

imme said...

Ambie,
Here's a hint. They are not rationing for restaurant owners. We bought our food storage rice at a restaurant food supply wholesaler. I'm sure you have one in AK. All you need is a vendor's license in order to get in. Doesn't Alex have a vendor's license with his salon business? Just use that to buy from a wholesaler.

Ambie said...

Imme, Alex has a business license but I'm not sure it's the same thing. BTW Alex went to Sam's yesterday morning and found rice. He bought two 25 lb bags and was in the best mood for the rest of the day.

Tim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tim said...

If people are going to start getting into rice, so be it. But don't commit rice blasphemy. Example: trying to add nutrition by adding wheat or brown rice. Or, eating rice like a cereal with suger and milk. I almost puked the first time I saw Jo do that.

ray said...

The fad has spread to Hawaii. (we always do things a little delayed from the mainland here.) I can't find rice anywhere and things are getting desperate. I actually bought some Jasmine rice but haven't had the courage to try and feed it to the fam yet. Makes me want to take over the government and establish my own "rice abundant" monarchy.