Monday, April 6, 2009

The End That Never Ends

One way to determine how obsessed mankind is on a subject is to look at how many synonyms there are for it. For example there are 38 synonyms for "money" while there are only 14 for "poetry" and 12 for "calculus".

That being said, I have a dilemma. I cannot get my children to stop enjoying humor about, rear ends, bottoms, bums, butts, tushes, gluteals, buttocks, buns, cheeks, rumps, er..donkeys, and everything that comes out of them. This type of childish humor starts moments after birth with the first smile of delight after passing gas and ends, well, I'm still waiting.

Like most children, mine enjoy watching the various animated movies by Disney and Dreamworks. But I just roll my eyes and brace myself if there is any humor, however subtle, involving directly or indirectly a bodily function involving a rear end. Dreamworks' "Bee Movie" has been permanently dubbed the "Ah! Poo water!" movie in this house. You may have seen the movie many times and still don't know what I'm refering to, but my kids didn't miss it. When my husband's new construction project turned out to be a waste water treatment plant, well, things got a little out of hand.

I've tried all kinds of consequences - timeouts, grounding, no-sugar days - and they work, for a little while. But life does demand the discussion of such personals from time to time. Then before I know it we're back to "Ah! Poo water!". The ultimate, though, is when my little children got the not-so-brilliant idea to try out Horrible mistake. It turns out it is a website with lists of links to kinky pictures and products. There have been no Frosted Flakes in this house for a long time.

So I've resigned myself to the fact that this may be one of those childhood ailments that has no treatment but just has to run its course. But I get discouraged at times, like, in a church meeting of all places, a speaker was recounting an experience he had on Lake Titicaca, and I hear a muffled giggle from my husband! This is going to be a long wait.


Happy The Man said...

What can I say? I'm a man and I just find this kind of humor funny. Admittedly there is a line, and even I can be grossed out, I prefer the subtle. But I think the good Lord made these things smelly to provide comic relief in our otherwise often mundane and significantly challenging lives. He could have just as easily made these things smell like flowers. But where would the fun be in that?

Kristine said...

Try a room full of 8th grade (wannabe) gangstas who gain their social status in the class by how many times they can use the word "doo-doo" in a 45 minute period... No fun!! Sure, I have my own immature moments... but it has to be at least a little more witty. :)

Ambie said...

true Kristine ... the more clever and witty the poo comment the more acceptable it seems.

Nathan & Michelle Watabe said...

Even at 30, I still find bathroom humor to be commical. Although, not from my children.