Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My Personal Inferno

What you think hell is:
You're returning from a Hawaiian vacation tired, sunburned, and possibly hungover and now you're stuck on an airplane full of crying babies and toddlers kicking your seat and toys being thrown at you for 7 unending hours.

What hell actually is:
You're flying to the mainland for a vacation and you're stuck on an airplane full of tired, sunburned and hungover tourists and you have the ONLY crying baby or tantrum-throwing toddler. And everyone stares at you with their weary, blood-shot eyes like you're either the worst parent ever or the devil incarnate. And your normally docile and contented child simply will not settle down despite your 30 lb backpack full of toys, snacks, books, and candy.

If you can't tell, I'm more than a little nervous about flying with my little bundle of fury. I am truly sympathetic to all those that have to sit around me because I know first hand (and ear) how annoying the sound of a crying, whining child is. But all those profane death threats and slander on the marital status of my parents are really unhelpful to the situation at hand.

I am making a promise right now that whatever stage of life I'm in, if I hear a child throwing a doozie of a tantrum in public, the parent(s) will get nothing from me but sympathy, patience and support. Now excuse me while I pack a full Thomas train set and a six-pack of tictacs.


Mama Mia said...

Oh I feel for you and have flown that same route ugggh! Good thinking on the tictacs! Hope you have fun and enjoy your time with family!

Ambie said...

Someday when your children are gone you will be the one annoyed at someones screaming baby... or just grateful that it's not you. Oh wait aren't you going to have 3 or 4 more? .. nevermind

Goldie said...

I feel your pain. After an 11-hour flight with a 4yo and a 15-month-old, I swore I would never fly again till the youngest was ten - for it was a nightmare, and yes, the baby absolutely refused to shut up. I kept my promise BTW.
As for sitting next to someone else's baby on a plane, I found that an MP3 player works fine... set the volume on max and for the rest of the flight you're going to be, "baby? what baby?" I also want to use the Internet medium and apologize to whoever sat next to us with their toddler last time we flew - I promise my 13yo did not teach your daughter to say "Oh, Gawd" on purpose - it just flew out of his mouth and she picked it up. Knowing his vocabulary, I'd say you should consider yourself lucky. Still, my apologies.

ray said...

ambie, no matter how much you would like me to share your PAIN, all your wishing in the world will not make it so. Yes, I may be annoyed at someone's baby, but you will not hear a rude comment or see a dirty look from me.

goldie, that is so funny. Considering what my children learn at school, I think "Oh Gawd" is pretty mild.