Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Delivery Room Etiquette

I love my sister but do I have to watch the baby be born? The honest truth is I kind of just wanted to see the sweet little new baby and not my sister in horrible pain. Honestly I don't want bleachers set up at my upcoming delivery either. So what's the protocol here? Who should be allowed and who's feelings are going to end up hurt? How did so many people get invited to this party anyway? It reminded me of high school when you invite 3 people over and they invite more people and the next thing you know you were trying to break up a gang war in your driveway.

So there we were lining the halls at my sisters delivery waiting for the pushing to be over so we could all flood in like something resembling the running of the bulls. Poor Jessica, I wondered if she was annoyed but soon realized that she was in too much pain to care about the family reunion taking place around her bed.

To avoid this kind of chaos, there must be some sort of guide as to what is appropriate at a delivery both in attendance and conduct of those invited to be present at the birth of my next child.

1. If you haven't seen IT in my adult life, neither will you see IT now. Use your imagination.

2. This is not a spectator sport. if you enjoy watching pain and suffering take a plane ride with Ray and her kids.

3. There must be no laughing, gasping, smiling, eating, giggling, moving, touching, shifting, or breathing in the room for the duration of the labor. So unless you are a statue, good luck.

4. There is a reason why it's called labor, labor = work, so unless I have ever invited you to watch me attempt an excruciating workout in the nude, count yourself out.

5.It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.... or yell.. or scream.

6. Please do not bring your children. The only children that will be allowed in the delivery room are my own which by the way you will be attending to.

7. No electronic devices will be allowed on the premises without my prior consent including: ipods, cell phones, video cameras, cameras, video games, laptops etc.

8. Flowers, gifts, remarking on the babies exceptional beauty, and foot massages are always welcome.

there is no


Cheryl said...

Amen, sister!!!

I have never quite understood how birthing became a spectator sport.

ray said...

Agree except I don't want my kids there either. How traumatic is that to watch your mother screaming and writhing in pain cussing at your dad and demanding things like a spoiled child in a tantrum. Actually I don't even care if my husband is there as long as there's someone there who can assist in making it end, i.e. the doctor, nurse, midwife, or paramedic.

Ambie said...

True. After a couple of deliveries, the husbands focus shifts significantly.Ray I feel a graph coming on.

1st birth, focus on wife 100%
2nd birth, focus on wife 80%, baby coming out 20%
3rd 50% 50%
4th 20% 80%
and so on ....

Cheryl said...

I feel so blessed to have a 100% husband. At least for the actually emergence into the world. Scott was with me every time and was totally there! What a man!

I will say that when my water broke when I was 28 1/2 weeks with the twins and we went to the hospital, we were waiting for the radiologist to arrive so that my Dr. could see where the placenta was before they did any kind of internal checking and Scott got chatting with the nurse and even when the radiologist arrived and started doing an ultrasound, there was Scotty at the foot of the bed deep in conversation with the nurse. The Dr. and I were all there focusing on the screen and when they saw that there were 2 placenta's and discovered that I was having twins, we almost had to throw something at him to tell him the amazing news.