Friday, October 17, 2008

Grumpy Old Ladies

There are good things about going to a "family" gym (no bare midriffs or thongs, friendly childcare, no getting hit on by creepy guys without jobs) and there are bad things about going to a "family" gym (all light rock all the time, halls full of summer camp kids). And then there are the things that are both good and bad. One of the things that fits into that last category is the grumpy old ladies that go to the water aerobics classes. When I get to the gym they are all floating in the pool; their wrinkled heads, with wide-brimmed hats and wrap-around sunglasses, bobbing around like the start of a really creepy horror flick. By the time I'm finished working out they are in the locker room, in all their unclothed, dimpled glory, sitting, standing, or showering, all the while chattering on about their grandkids and pets, their trips and their trips.

They are friendly and generally happy and I get a kick out their conversation topics that range from who of their friends died and whether their husbands are available to who had what surgery and what internal organ is now missing or replaced with a medical gadget. They always mention how young and fit I am, and how they were exactly the same when they were my age. They love hearing about my children, are flatteringly shocked that I have four, and are sure that mine are the smartest, most athletic, and cutest children ever (second only to their own grandkids, of course).

So what's the downside to this jolly, geriatric company? The visuals make me want to die young.

there is no
the end


ray said...

So Tim, do you like that picture better? We aim to please here at AmbienRay!

Tim said...

Yes, much better. I prefer plump. Heat in the winter, shade in the summer.

Mama Mia said...

Ha Ha! You hit it right on the head with this post! I have had the same experience with Lakeside Health and Wellness...lots of old naked ladies. I got quite an education now that I think about it.

Ambie said...

are these people really so unaware of the existence of gravity? Someone needs to post a reminder on the wall.
Beware of falling items

Tim said...

Etiquette in a women's locker room must be different than in a men's. You generally don't make conversation when you're unclothed. It's sort of weird if you do.

Your description of the old, dimpled ladies did remind me of a recent scene I witnessed, which I can't seem to get out of my mind. I caught a glimpse of this old man slowly finding a seat on a bench. His legs were shaking as he hoped for a soft landing. He was faced away from me, bent forward, and my view was...well, picture an orange stuck under a desk with some chewing gum, and it's slowing beginning to pull away....

Now it's stuck in your head.

Unknown said...

I get those comments about how they were so fit when they were my age...the way I see it, if all my exercising I do at this age will just make me look like them, then why am I working out so hard? Pass the cheesecake, I quit.

And about getting hit on, at my family friendly gym, it's the creepy old men. If I'm going to get hit on, I'd rather have the unemployed ripped 20 somethings than the retired wrinkled 70 somethings. Old men revving to try their sample of viagra.

ray said...

Ahhh! Tim, I thought my visuals were bad! How see-through were these guy's pants?

Becky, I'm so glad that was you commenting. For a while I thought pete was getting hit on by men, old and young.